Here it is barely past lunch and we’ve already had an eventful day.

It is a beautiful day in Southwest Missouri. the sun is shining and it feels warmer than it really is. Since my family has spent four out of the last five weeks sick with one virus after another, I decided it was time to enjoy the weather and get outside.

Our back deck and yard needed cleaning up so I started by rounding up all the empty Fresh Step buckets that accumulate out there so I could stack them neatly and list them on FreeShare. You’d be amazed how many people want those buckets.

I had four buckets neatly stacked when I saw a fifth one turned on its side right by the dryer vent so that the warm air from the vent was blowing into the bucket. I picked it up and immediately screamed and threw it back down. Something was alive in there.

After I collected my wits I slowly picked the bucket back up and looked inside. It was a bird, seemingly unharmed. What to do with a bird in a bucket? I have seven cats, three of which go outdoors. Two of those three were outside on the back deck at the very moment I issued my scream. Obviously the bird could not stay there. I pondered why a bird would be in the bucket and decided it was either staying warm by the dryer vent or hiding from the cats.

I carried the bucket to the back fence and sat it on the other side. The kindly old lady that lives there wouldn’t mind if the bird in a bucket sat there until it decided to leave although she might wonder why I was sitting my trash on her side of the fence if she found the bucket empty.

I went on about my business cleaning up outside, disposing of our Jack-o-Lanterns, etc. After about an hour I went to check the bucket to see if the bird had left yet.

It was dead. What to do? I didn’t want the kids to know that it had died. They have already had too much death in their lives. I couldn’t leave a dead bird in a bucket in the kindly old lady’s yard for her to find either. That’s just wrong.

Then there was the guilt. Did I kill the bird somehow? I’ve heard they scare to death pretty easily and I did scream pretty loud. Should I have done something other than sit the bucket of bird over the fence away from my cats? Should I have not chosen to clean up my yard today?

I stealthily retrieved the bucket while the kids were busy fighting and put a lid on it and sat it out by the trash. I know some trash picker will come along and decide to take that bucket only to find a dead bird inside. I’ll probably get reported for practicing bizarre animal sacrifice rituals or something.

I should have known it was time for me and the kids to go inside but sometimes I’m a slow learner. They stayed outside to play while I came in to do some laundry.

The neighbor on the east side let his dog, Harvey, out. My dog and Harvey like to stand and bark at each other and I have a very low tolerance for barking dogs. Thankfully, neither my dog nor Harvey spend much time outdoors. For some reason my kids go running to the fence to talk to Harvey as I’m headed out the door to bring my barking dog inside while Harvey is outside. Just as I reach the door I hear my daughter:

“Eric, Harvey is peeing on you!”

Yes, Harvey has his leg hiked and is peeing all over my son who just stands there as if getting peed on was no big deal.

It seems that my life is getting back to normal.

originally published ar Gather on 11-09-07