Dog:

Dogbert – Easy to identify; should be the only dog here. If this is not the case, please call. Food is stored in the feeder itself. Just lift the top part off. Will jump the fence if left outside unsupervised for too long.

Cats, Male:

Yellow Cat – Large, elderly orange tabby with a cauliflower ear and a crooked head. Needs to take his Clindamycin twice per day. It is on the kitchen counter in a bag with Pill Pockets. Is not fooled by Pill Pockets but it’s worth a try. Recovering from abscess on face that needs to be watched. Can go outside and will probably crap in the floor if he doesn’t get to. Conveniently, the pile of crap will be right in front of the back door so that you can’t open it to let the dog out without either smashing the crap or cleaning it up first. Yellow Cat can probably be found on the bed in either the master bedroom or Eric’s room depending on who forgot to turn off their electric mattress pad.
Izzy – Average size, gray and white. Suffers from stomatitis which has nothing to do with stomachs. Cannot eat dry kibble so must eat canned food twice a day. Bowls and canned food are on kitchen counter. You may need to open several cans before finding the floavor he likes on any given day. Needs to be monitored while eating or the other cats steal his food. It helps to give the other cats the cans you opened while looking for the flavor of the day. Will need to be encouraged to eat by standing with him and continually picking him up and putting him back in front of the food. He is scared of his food and will run away from it and hide, usually in Eric’s room under the dresser or tv stand. It helps if you rotate the bowl a quarter turn every few minutes while he is eating. It also helps to keep one hand on him while he eats. Adding fish oil to the food helps too. If he does not eat he will go into kidney failure so if you can’t make him eat, take him to the vet. Likely to be in the pyramid cat bed on the freezer. Izzy, not the vet.

Ramone – Large, long-hair. Kinda mean. Goes outside. Will crap in the bathtub; leaving a few inches of water in the tub helps prevent this. The expensive cat deterrent mat does not help. No telling where you might find him; I don’t know why you’d want to.

Pigbert – Very large, grey and white. Does not go outside. Hangs out on the cat condo mostly. Occasionally goes crazy due to suspected brain tumor. Might faint. Or bite for no reason. Or do this weird meow-yowl song while running away from the ghost in the hallway.

Cats, Female:

Princess – Elderly Siamese mix. Does not go outside. No special care required. Prefers the cat fountain to be fresh and clean. Likes to sleep in front of the e-Heat or stays in the kitchen most of the time. Might pee on the stove or kitchen counter if stressed out.

Shelby – Small dilute calico. Absolutely cannot go outside because she will hide and never be seen again. Very shy and afraid of men. No special care required. Can probably be found in the closet or under the bed in the master bedroom.

Cuddles – Fat little gray tabby. Hangs out in Lexie’s room mostly and uses pink litter box located in there. Does not go outside. No special care.

Cats, Feral:

Between two and six arrive to eat every night along with an occasional raccoon or opossum. Food for them is in the big white bucket on the front porch. It is best to have Ramone and Yellow Cat inside for the night before opening the stray cat soup kitchen.

Ghost:

No special care required. Won’t do anything except stand in the hallway. No cause for alarm. Does not eat or crap.

Misc.

Cat carriers are in the master bedroom closet. Dog’s leash is hanging in the tall kitchen cabinet by the back door. The vet should have my credit card info memorized by now. If not, call.

Directions for cleaning and filling the cat water fountain are with the extra filters on the kitchen counter next to Yellow Cat’s medicine.

Cat food for everyone except Izzy and the ferals is in the bin by the back door.

There are three cat litter boxes in the house. Extra-large blue on in the kitchen, pink one in Lexie’s room, and a red one in Eric’s room. Extra litter is in the large Fresh Step buckets in the kitchen. This does not include the bathtub or dog’s bed which will also likely get used.

originally published on Gather on 11-19-07