You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2007.
Today is my wedding anniversary so I thought I would take a moment and tell you about our wedding. Those who know me will not be surprised at how it all went down. There is something here for Type A personalities; we got ‘r done. There is something here for the frugal; we didn’t spend much. There is something here for the practical; our reasons were nothing if not pragmatic. But mostly there is something here for those with a sense of humor as the entire event was about as unorthodox as it gets.
We weren’t married before our wedding day. We were living in sin with a bastard son. This was good because the son was able to provide the entertainment at the wedding for a price we could afford. We also had my daughter who was half-orphaned due to a deceased father. This was good too. She was able to act as a wedding consultant and stand in for my mother who wasn’t there to tell me what to do. You see, my mother didn’t know it was happening or we wouldn’t have gotten away with not spending any money.
It was Friday, December 30. It was getting ready to be a holiday weekend and places were closing early. Places like courthouses. It was also getting ready to be the last day of the year for tax purposes. My significant other, Shannon, was at work supporting us. I was in my pajamas, on my lazy butt, in front of the computer at home. Read the rest of this entry »
I was again perusing my cookie ingredients deciding what to bake this year when my husband made a startling discovery. Read the rest of this entry »
The Tale of the Quarter:
I had a bad day with my four year old son a few weeks ago. We had dropped my daughter off at her reading tutor and were on the way home. Since we were driving by Aldi I decided to stop and get a spiral ham.
If you aren’t familiar with Aldi there are two things to know. First, a person can’t spend much time shopping there. There is only one brand of anything so you don’t spend any time comparing prices or deciding what brand to buy. I can get a cart full of food in twenty minutes. My son was not going to have to suffer long. We’re not talking Wal-Mart the week before Christmas.
Second, you have to have a quarter to get a shopping cart. You get your quarter back when you return your cart. This way they aren’t paying anyone to round up carts. Because you have to have a quarter to shop at Aldi and because I frequently stop at Aldi, I keep a special Aldi quarter in a special section of my wallet. The Aldi quarter does not get spent. It is always there when I need it. My Aldi quarter had been with me longer than my son has. Key word is had.
Once inside Aldi we found a wooden train set on display. They often have special buys on toys during the holidays and this was one of them. My son decided he wanted to play with the train display only to discover that they had glued all the trains and things down. I don’t blame them. However, this discovery triggered the worst public temper tantrum I have ever seen in my life, from my child or anyone else’s. I had no choice. I had to abandon my cart and haul a kicking, screaming, cursing child out of Aldi.
My Aldi quarter was gone. Left behind in my abandoned cart. I grieved for my lost Aldi quarter. I thought about going back to see if I could recover it. I haven’t been back to Aldi since. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because my quarter is gone. My husband doesn’t get it. He thinks any quarter will do.
The Tale of the Nickel:
Today my daughter and I went to the library. They have a little gift shop in the library. She purchased four pieces of nickel candy. I gave her a quarter to pay for it. She asked if she could keep the nickel she got back in change.
Our next stop was K-Mart so that she could pick up a Christmas gift for her brother. There was a bell ringer at the door. She said, “Oh, no! I forgot my money!” and turned around and ran all the way back to the car to get that nickel for the bell ringer. Let me just say we weren’t parked near the door. It is Christmas time.
I know a nickel isn’t much but it was all the money she possessed and she ran all the way to the car and back to get it for that bell ringer. I was proud of her.
Is there a moral to this? I doubt it. I was just thinking of my shame and anger with the quarter and my pride with the nickel and all the ups and downs of motherhood.
originally published on Gather on 12-20-07
Dear Roomba People:
I have been considering purchasing your product for quite some time. The reason I have not moved past considering is that I am not at all convinced that the cute little cleaning robot would be able to survive in my household.
I have seven cats and one large dog. They shed. A lot. How much hair can Roomba pick up before he becomes full and burns up?
The cats regularly engage in a behavior that I describe as “recreational vomiting.” What will happen if Roomba drives into a pile of fresh, wet cat barf? Will he short out and die an early death?
I have two young children. They are slobs. What will happen if Roomba drives over an empty cheese stick wrapper that was tossed in the living room floor? On that note, will Roomba kindly leave all the little Polly Pocket shoes and clothes where he finds them or will he indiscriminately suck them up?
I await your reply and hope that we will be able to adopt a Roomba into our family.
