The Ugly Computer

There is an ugly computer taking up space on my kitchen counter.

We went to Joplin on Wednesday to take my mother to lunch for her birthday and spend some time with her. Her long-time boyfriend had an old computer in his van that had belonged to his daughter. He said it works but it’s slow. He thought I could fix it up for my mother since she’s been wanting a computer and internet for years now.

Of course, with it sitting there in a van, I’ve really no idea if I can fix it up or not. It may just need a defrag and maybe a Ram chip. Or it may be running Windows 3.1 and not be worth fixing. I’ll have to take it home and hook it up to find out.

My mother starts shouting, “John, I don’t want it! It’s ugly. I don’t want an ugly computer.”

He continues to load the ugly computer into the trunk of my car. She continues to protest.

“Andrea, don’t even bother. It’s ugly. I’m telling you I don’t want the ugly thing.”

This from the woman that insists that your baby wipes container match your bathroom decor. I’m not surprised. I just wonder how she will find a computer, new or old, that fits in with her decor. I don’t think Martha Stewart has a computer line.

So here it is. It is ugly. It belonged to a teenager and it’s covered with graffiti. I’m thinking about spray-painting it. Kris M. suggested last night that I put an attractive scarf around it. I haven’t hooked it up and plugged it in yet because I don’t want to waste my time fixing it up if she doesn’t want it.

I was going to Freecycle it today but I’m starting to feel bad for it. It’s homeless, ugly, and unwanted. I collect cats and dogs that fit that description. Why not computers?

There are already four computers in this house. With only four people in the house, I’m not sure what to do with a number five. I guess I could put it in the laundry room on top of the dryer for when I hide from the kids in there.

Hey, That’s My Doormat!

Spotted at icanhascheezburger:

moar funny pictures

Tax Time

Yeah, me!

Our 2007 taxes are filed and our refund will be in the bank on February 8th.

It did not cost us a dime to e-file federal or state. If you meet the income guidelines you can file for free at http://turbotax.intuit.com/taxfreedom/.  It does not have to be a simple 1040 or EZ. I have to file Schedule C for self-employment and it was still free.

Paid for Something I Wrote

Well, that was easy. Too easy, really.

I have been paid for something I wrote. That was one goal for 2008. I guess I’m supposed to be all excited now. How come I’m not?

Does this earn me the coveted title of Published Author? I really won’t feel like one until I get something published in a print magazine. I’m not sure I’d even feel like one then unless it happened regularly. Perhaps Published Author only applies to the writers of books. That goal is a bit lofty for me. I don’t think there is a book in my future.

Does this earn me the title of Real Paid Writer? I guess technically it does but I don’t see six dollars going very far toward paying the utility bill. Perhaps Real Paid Writers make so much money they don’t have to care about their utility bills. I might be better off being a Real Paid Hooker.

Still, this was a first step and can now be checked off my list. Once I’ve pulled this off a few dozen times maybe I’ll actually send something to a print magazine so I can start collecting rejection slips.

January – Get paid for writing something.
February – Get paid for writing something at least once a week.
March – Get paid for writing something at least twice a week.
April – Get paid for writing something at least three times a week.
March – Get paid more for writing something. Maybe Constant Content?
April – Send something to a print magazine while continuing to write regularly for AC.
May – Am I there yet? Probably not.

I think this plan needs work.

Who or What is Glitches.ning.com?

This blog keeps getting traffic from glitches.ning.com. I’d provide a link but it wouldn’t do you any good since one is greeted by a log-in screen and politely told to bugger off unless they have an invitation. It’s like being the last kid chosen for kickball which is a memory I could have happily gone the rest of my life without recalling.

Admittedly, it isn’t much traffic. I could count the visitors to this blog on one hand and I know who most of them are. I do not know who Glitches is and that drives me crazy.

Is it a group of serious writers pointing and laughing at me? If so, how was I singled out for ridicule? There are lots of bad blogs in cyberspace. I’m sure I deserve ridicule and all but how did they even find me so fast?

Is it a branch of Homeland Security waiting for me say the wrong thing so they can disappear me? If so, please note the absence of “Politics” over there on the category list. I make my political rants elsewhere. Try to figure out which tin-foil-hat-wearing person at Democratic Underground is me.

Is it a group of nice religious people that have formed a prayer group and are trying to save my soul? I guess it’s the thought that counts. Thanks for caring and have a nice day.

Choosing a Domain Name for this Blog

I guess I’ve spent too many years coding websites and having complete control over my sites. I really can’t cope with the limitations of having a hosted blog for long. I want to be able to customize or write my own theme instead of choosing from the ones available here. I want access to the css files. Etc. I may never use it but I want to have the option.

That being the case, I think it’s best to move to my own domain now while there isn’t much to move. I went to see what domains are available just a few minutes ago. It seems both antimother.com and anti-mother.com are available for purchase. I can’t decide which one to buy.

For the record, slackermom.com is taken.

Editing that damn Hello World post

A friend dragged me over here from that other place. Since I’d follow her almost anywhere, here I am.

My name at that other place was not available here so I was forced to assume a new identity.

Where the hell is Sandy?

Since that stupid, default “Hello World!” post had comments on it I had to edit it instead of deleting it.

Putting Away the Cat Food

One of my cats has a chronic condition called stomatitis and is unable to eat dry kibble so he gets two cans of loaf style food each day. Sadly, I have tried many premium brands and he will not eat them so I am left with the option of feeding him 9 Lives or watching him starve to death. I chose the 9 Lives over starvation so don’t bother telling me that it isn’t good food. I know. Tell Izzy. Maybe he’ll listen to you.

I buy it in shrink-wrapped cases of 24 cans. Each case contains four flavors: Super Supper, Seafood Platter, Chicken and Tuna Dinner, and Ocean Whitefish Dinner.

When I open the case to put the cans in the cabinet, I always sort and restack them so that Izzy is not eating Super Supper four days in a row, then eating Seafood Platter four days in a row, and so on. I put them in neat little stacks of four with each stack containing one of each flavor. I make sure that the flavors are in the same order in each stack so that Izzy never eats the same flavor in a row. I further ensure that he does not consume Ocean Whitefish and Seafood Platter on two consecutive days. After all, I wouldn’t want to eat fish two days in a row. None of this effort pays off if someone does not use each stack in order, though. Someone like my husband for instance. If one starts on the next stack before the previous stack is gone, it ruins everything.

I tried to explain but he thinks I’m OCD or anal retentive. I’m just a thoughtful pet owner, right?

We also have issues with him putting the spices back without properly alphabetizing them or putting a book away without following the Dewey Decimal system. So is he a slob or am I OCD?